Can you control your feelings

Can you control your feelings?

Feelings are actions signals, a motivator & a change agent.

You cannot control your feelings, but it is up to you what you actions you choose to take or not as a result of them.

Six seconds of energy created by emotions

“Only one person in this world can ever make you feel depressed, worried, or angry-and that person is you.” David D. Burns, M.D.

You feel the way you think (distorted). You can change the way you feel. It is impossible to feel good all the time. As humans, feelings are natural and we have a right to feel them, we just have to be realistic and distinguish between healthy vs. unhealthy feelings. Accept your feelings express them respectfully and act on them constructively. Perfectionism, procrastination and cost benefit analysis and adds to your self-defeating. The book Ten Days to Self-Esteem by David D. Burns, M.D. will save you thousands of dollars in counseling.

As per, these are the thinking distortions:

Many cognitive distortions are also logical fallacies; related links are suggested in parentheses.

  1. All-or-nothing thinking (splitting) – Thinking of things in absolute terms, like “always”, “every”, “never”, and “there is no alternative”. Few aspects of human behavior are so absolute. (See false dilemma.) All-or-nothing-thinking can contribute to depression. (See depression). Also called dichotomous thinking.
  2. Overgeneralization – Taking isolated cases and using them to make wide generalizations. (See hasty generalization.)
  3. Mental filter – Focusing almost exclusively on certain, usually negative or upsetting, aspects of an event while ignoring other positive aspects. For example, focusing on a tiny imperfection in a piece of otherwise useful clothing. (See misleading vividness.)
  4. Disqualifying the positive – Continually deemphasizing or “shooting down” positive experiences for arbitrary, ad hoc reasons. (See special pleading.)
  5. Jumping to conclusions– Drawing conclusions (usually negative) from little (if any) evidence. Two specific subtypes are also identified:
    • Mind reading – Assuming special knowledge of the intentions or thoughts of others.
    • Fortune telling – Exaggerating how things will turn out before they happen. (See slippery slope.)
  6. Magnification and minimization – Distorting aspects of a memory or situation through magnifying or minimizing them such that they no longer correspond to objective reality. This is common enough in the normal population to popularize idioms such as “make a mountain out of a molehill.” In depressed clients, often the positive characteristics of other peopleare exaggerated and negative characteristics are understated. There is one subtype of magnification:
    • Catastrophizing – Focusing on the worst possible outcome, however unlikely, or thinking that a situation is unbearable or impossible when it is really just uncomfortable.
  7. Emotional reasoning – Assuming reality to reflect emotions, e.g. “I feel it, therefore it must be true.” (See appeal to consequences.)
  8. Should statements – Patterns of thought which imply the way things “should” or “ought” to be rather than the actual situation the patient is faced with, or having rigid rules which the patient believes will “always apply” no matter what the circumstances are.Albert Ellis termed this “Musturbation”. (See wishful thinking.)
  9. Labeling and mislabeling – Explaining behaviors or events, merely by naming them; related to overgeneralization. Rather than describing the specific behavior, a patient assigns a label to someone or himself that implies absolute and unalterable terms. Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.
  10. PersonalizationAttribution of personal responsibility (or causal role) for events over which the patient has no control. This pattern is also applied to others in the attribution of blame.



You can keep a log of your mood daily to monitor your feelings and the thoughts associated with them to find distortions in them.

When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion. –Abraham Lincoln

Feelings of pain and pleasure are great motivators. We do more to avoid pain than gain pleasure.

Feelings provide passion to convert pain into action into results.

Feelings are action signals and change agents that tell us that change is required.

Gut feelings tell us when something is wrong.

Feelings are information. Use your feelings to give you indications and trust them.

Own your feelings, provide a safe place for yourself to fee.

Trust your feelings.

Don’t let your feelings stop you from achieving your goals because they come from feeling unworthy or undeserving.

Feelings-thoughts determine your feelings. Turn your negative thoughts into positive.

Feelings of higher thoughts, happiness, joy, education and compassion had to reside within one.

“When you’re a kid, being grown up looks so easy. Nobody tells you it’s harder than it looks, that those feelings that you have that you don’t measure up, that you’re not keeping pace…they never go away. What do you do when you feel like you’re the only kid in a room full of adults? Well, the only thing you can do. You smile. You step up. You try your best to fit in.” Erica, S1E5
“For the first moment we came into this world, we feel. Pain, enjoy, and fear and rage. We like to hide the feelings that frightens us, first from others, then from ourselves, many of us, live our lives distant from our deepest feelings,and never stop to wonder: “What would happened if we allowed ourselves to feel fully?To express, and share them with the world?” S03E01


“The map is within you and your feelings are the guideposts that tell you when to go left and when to go right. Often we tend not to listen because it’s hard, it’s scary. And we forget that there is no other path to happiness except for the one we create for ourselves.”


“Growth is painful. Change is hard. And there are days when you wish it would just stop. It wouldn’t be great to just know, to feel like you have finally figure all out, to just be done? It is the hardest and the most wonderful thing about being alive: that doesn’t matter how much you learn, grow and change – we are never done!”

“Because you were able to hold onto yourself, when everything else was ripped away from you.”
“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.” Zig Ziglar
“Desire…. It is the most powerful force on earth…the seed from which everything begins. It upends the best laid plans. It challenges who we think we are. It defies what we think we need. Desire is the root of impulse. It’s the fuel that drives us.. the very decor of who we are. Yet from our very earliest day we are taught to control it, to suppress it. But sometimes a little inversion can be a good thing.”
Desire. It’s powerful, maddening and utterly unpredictable. All too often we deny the desire we feel hoping that that will make it disappear. Along with all the uncomfortable questions we don’t want to answer, and the complicated truths we’d rather not see. What happens when desire rises within us, unexpected? How do we stand against it? And should we even try?
“The presents hard, because your mind want wants to go everywhere else, anywhere & everywhere but here…where it is exactly supposed to be.”-
The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere. – Anne Morrow Lindbergh
“Feelings. So often we fool ourselves into thinking we can control them. Until one day, we’re ambushed. Caught off guard by rage or jealousy or love, and we’re forced to face the truth. The truth is this, you can’t control how you feel, only what you do about it.” Being Erica

A man will renounce any pleasures you like but he will not give up his suffering. Man is made in such a way that he is never so much attached to anything as he is to his suffering. Gurdjieff

“Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” – Abraham Lincoln

“They can’t hurt you unless you let them.” – Unknown

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer

Emotions have power

Assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled. Feel as the thing as though you already have it. Use your senses. Decide what you want and ask yourself what it would be like and how you would feel if it were true. Then dare to assume you have it. Let the people who know you now see you after your assumption. Don’t make them see you; let them see the change! Think of the world as a sounding box, echoing and reflecting what you have assumed. Listen to your friends comment on your change. See their faces expressing their pleasure on your good fortune. Wear that feeling as you now wear your present body of belief. Continue to wear that new state and in no time at all your desire will objectify itself and become a fact in your world. Then you will know who the cause of the phenomena of life really is. -Neville Goddard

Gratitude – give out the energy.

“Learn to follow the quiet voice within that speaks in feelings rather than words; follow what you ‘hear’ inside, rather than what others may be telling you to do.” -Bob Proctor, You Were Born Rich

Seneca on Anger

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