Category: 6. Parenting
Being an ideal father

Being an ideal father

Being an ideal father or for that reason mother is not an easy task. We are just humans with our own needs, shortcomings and challenges. Let us take a moment to tell our children that we love them, give them that safe place and ease their existence with a kind word, hug or with encouragement. Here is a wonderful poem to remind us of that:

Father forgets

FATHER FORGETS

W. Livingston Larned

condensed as in “Readers Digest”

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little

paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily

wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone.

Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the

library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily

I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross

to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because

you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to

task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when

you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You

gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You

spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off

to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand

and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” and I frowned, and said in

reply, “Hold your shoulders back!”

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came

up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles.

There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before

your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house.

Stockings were expensive-and if you had to buy them you would

be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how

you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes?

When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption,

you hesitated at the door. “What is it you want?” I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge,

and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your

small arms tightended with an affection that God had set

blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither.

And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped

from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What

has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of

reprimanding-this was my reward to you for being a boy. It

was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too

much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own

years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your

character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn

itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous

impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters

tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and

I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these

things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But

tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer

when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my

tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it

were a ritual: “He is nothing but a boy-a little boy!”

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you

now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are

still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your

head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

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What do South Asian parents want from their children

What do South Asian parents want from their children

What do South Asian parents want from their children?

We want to see our children happy, healthy and prosperous pursuing their dreams regardless of their faith, age, gender or station in life.

It would be ideal to hear that from our parents that they want us to be true to ourselves above all the dogma of culture or people.

Regardless of religion.

Regardless of country.

Regardless of gender.

Regardless of age.

As parents we will protect our children against prejudice, discrimination and disdain of other people in the community who hold onto staunch belief of old mindset.

We are educated.

We are free.

We promote basic human rights and privileges.

We encourage our children to follow truth regardless of it being ugly or beautiful, regardless of it offending or assisting or regardless of it being self serving or not.

We grow stronger with our family, religious and cultural values, yet still be amazing individuals pursuing our own calling in life.

Change is the only permanent thing and at that there is no permanence.

So why hold onto life so tight.

Let it flow for ourselves and our children to make their happiness, health and prosperity be the main aim in life.

It is not a foreign concept and it can permeate into your new consciousness.

So what our child does not live at home, so what they married out of the culture or so what they pursued a non-traditional life.

We will see examples of that in other families and must adjust yourself to the changes.

We may want to fulfil our un-lived lives, dreams and hopes through your children.

We may want them to bring us honour, respect and fame.

We may want them to become a sports star, doctor or a lawyer that we wanted to become.

We may want them to marry a certain somebody.

Just because we put our dreams on the shelf for later, we stayed in the shadows, we were shallow with our own dreams, we shrank our dreams or just shopped around all our lives. It does not mean that we shoot our children’s dreams down or not let them shine.

We will encourage our children, build them up, support them and stand by them to achieve their highest potential in the endeavour they choose and be the cheerleaders.

We love them unconditionally because they are the future and they have their own calling and inner voice that they must listen to.

We will be their friends and parents, a safe place that they can call home.

 

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Our children are the very best and very worst of us

Our children are the very best and very worst of us

Our children are the very best and very worst of us

Monkey see, monkey do

Why are we so surprised, when our children turn out to be the very best and very worst of us?

They have the same DNA, Genes and Possibly the upbringing as you.

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How to be a great South Asian parent

How to be a great South Asian parent

How to be a great South Asian parent

“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”
― Albert Einstein

Take Parenting Classes

You are the parent, so provide the parenting that your children need

Power of a role model;  it is not what we say, but what we do that children see

Carl Jung wrote that “the greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parents.

“The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” ― John Wooden, Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court
Don’t argue in-front of your children

Control your moods

Look after your children’s needs

 

Protect your children from any opportunity to be in such a situation from inside or outside the home

Learn to discipline them through structure, consequences and privelages

 

Parenting classes teach you how to bring order to your family

 

Our Family Rules

• We respect, help & care for each other

• We speak nicely, softly, to never hit each other & solve arguments/ conflicts with elders

• We put away our things in the right place, pick-up, clean after ourselves, put garbage in garbage cans, laundry in the laundry basket

• We respect & listen to our elders

• We choose wisely

• No screaming

• No lying or stealing

• No excuses

• Smile ☺

Last, but not least in addition to protecting (sheltering) them also teach them life skills, give them tools and confidence to deal with people, situations and themselves. Above all, make sure that they know that you love them unconditionally and want the very best for them.

How to be a great South Asian parent is an ope dialogue, please feel free to contribute below.

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Underlying causes of behaviour in Punjabi

Underlying causes of behaviour in Punjabi

Underlying causes of behaviour in Punjabi

By Baldev Mutta
of Punjabi Community Health Services PCHS

Website: http://www.pchs4u.com/

Underlying causes of behaviour in Punjabi

Punjabi Community Health Services http://www.pchs4u.com/

For more information to get services in Brampton and Malton.

PCHS Head Office
11730 Airport Rd. Brampton,  ON
L6R 0C7
Phone: 905-790-0808

Malton Office
2829 Derry Road East
Mississauga, ON, L4T 1A5
Phone: 905-677-0889

Thank you Mr. Baldev Mutta and his team to make these videos available to our community. Please keep up the great work, it is needed by our families.

Other Video Series in the following topics in Punjabi language

  1. What Is Addiction In Punjabi
  2. Understanding And Having A Better Marriage
  3. Family Matters
  4. Risky Behaviour
  5. What Is Frustration
  6. Underlying Causes Of Behaviour
  7. Changing Behaviour
  8. Mental Health
  9. Forgiveness
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Over Protecting Parents Effects

Over Protecting Parents Effects

Why South Asian parents need to teach their children tools how to handle life and people instead of overprotecting?

South Asian parents tend to over protect their children via many rules and regulations what their children can and cannot do.

Children will do what they want any ways without their parents knowledge.

To keep them safer, it is better to teach children how to make right choices, be a good judge of character and deal with red flags that come up in situations.

Parents are not always in the know, can see what is going on or protect their children, hence teaching good decision making skills, high level of self-esteem, self-respect and standards amongst morals and value would be critical.

Over Protecting Parents Effects: children do not communicate for the fear of repercussions or just plainly not to worry you.

Give your children the tools, strategies, maps and right mindset to function in the world.

As they grow old, spend time with your children as a friend. Get to know their friends. These friends have a huge influence on your children and can give you indication of what is going on.

There are South Asian girls doing some very inappropriate, self-sabotaging and disrespectful things to themselves without their parents knowledge.

This is an open dialogue to start a conversation and find solutions for children to be more independent, capable and safe.

 

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Parents please do not hit us discipline us

Parents please do not hit us discipline us

In Brampton, Ontario the city is starting to offer free parenting classes.

By no means, it is easy to raise children.

Parents please do not hit us discipline us

However, our South Asian families need to learn how to discipline children by setting boundaries, rules and consequences than hitting children.

In most cases, children don’t say anything. Perhaps, one of them complains at school or shows fear and children’s aid society gets involved.

Parents strictly tell their children not to say anything; otherwise they will get in further trouble.

If parents are to take the time to establish a structure, children will know what is expected of them and they can feel a sense of what they are doing right.

Instead of fits of anger by parents and there is no winning no matter what children do.

Consequences attached with privileges usually works.

This is an open dialogue and you are welcome to contribute to this section.

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South Asian women needing parenting help

South Asian women needing parenting help

 

South Asian women needing parenting help

Just because people are able to conceive children, it does not mean that you are ready to be a parent.

Due to many issues coming up, now Brampton, Ontario is starting to offer free parenting classes to South Asian families.

Providing food, shelter and free public schooling is not enough for your children.

They do need your guidance, support, time and love, in addition to your friendship.

South Asian women do their utmost best to raise their children based on their training and education.

Watch Hundreds of Free TVO Kids Videos about Basic English, Science & Math

http://homeworkzone.tvokids.com/hwz/language

Supernanny

Save us from our house

What is your teenager watching?

Possibly watch with your teenagers and discuss it:

The Merchants of Cool

Letters for your teenager by Sieg Pedde

  1. Oma and Opa
  2. We Are All Cousins
  3. God Was Bored
  4. Do Chiropractors “Quack”?
  5. The Ultimate Sacrifice
  6. The Golden Rule
  7. Dream On, Dream On, The Answer’s At The End
  8. TANSTAAFL  
  9. Political Philosophooey  May 16, 2003
  10. Yankee Bashing  
  11. In Search of a Good Whine  April 15, 2003
  12. Why Not Feed Them to the Lions?  April 25, 2003
  13. Left of Centre Lane  (Coming)
  14. To Be or Not To Be  April 8, 2005
  15. The X Factor  
  16. Money Does Grow on Trees (Coming)
  17. The Weaker Sex  (Coming)
  18. The Appearance of Doing Something Useful  June 13, 2003
  19. The Road to Natchez  September 6, 2006
  20. Final Goodbyes… an Encore  September 24, 2003
  21. Serendipity
  22. Expiration Dates  February 17, 2004
  23. The Girl and the Ballerina Too  February 17, 2004
  24. Customer Disservice: Helping The Customer Decide Where Not to Shop  NEW – April 30, 2004Read CBC News Canada article here: Children of immigrants caught between 2 cultures 

We are accepting, compiling and creating programming for all categories. Please submit below or contact us through info@SAWNTV.COM.

South Asian women needing parenting help is an open dialogue, please feel free to contribute below.

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