Category: 7. Dealing with Relatives
How to deal with poisonous people in your life

How to deal with poisonous people in your life

A story about How to deal with poisonous people in your life

A long time ago, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn’t get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law’s habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed days, and weeks passed weeks. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing the poor husband great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law’s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.

Li-Li went to see her father’s good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, “Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you.”

Li-Li said, “Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do.” Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs.

He told Li-Li, “You can’t use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some pork or chicken and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly toward her. Don’t argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen.” Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother. After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn’t had an argument in six months with her mother-in-law, who now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law’s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li’s husband was very happy to see what was happening.

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She said, “Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She’s changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her.”

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. “Li-Li, there’s nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her.”

-Author Unknown

How to deal with poisonous people in your life is an open dialogue, please feel free to comment.

 

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)
By with 0 comments
Family Matters in Punjabi

Family Matters in Punjabi

Family Matters in Punjabi

By Baldev Mutta
of Punjabi Community Health Services PCHS

Website: http://www.pchs4u.com/

Family Matters in Punjabi Part#1

Family Matters in Punjabi Part#2

Family Matters in Punjabi

Family Matters in Punjabi

Family Matters in Punjabi Part#6

Punjabi Community Health Services http://www.pchs4u.com/

For more information to get services in Brampton and Malton.

PCHS Head Office
11730 Airport Rd. Brampton,  ON
L6R 0C7
Phone: 905-790-0808

Malton Office
2829 Derry Road East
Mississauga, ON, L4T 1A5
Phone: 905-677-0889

Thank you Mr. Baldev Mutta and his team to make these videos available to our community. Please keep up the great work, it is needed by our families.

Other Video Series in the following topics in Punjabi language

  1. What Is Addiction In Punjabi
  2. Understanding And Having A Better Marriage
  3. Family Matters
  4. Risky Behaviour
  5. What Is Frustration
  6. Underlying Causes Of Behaviour
  7. Changing Behaviour
  8. Mental Health
  9. Forgiveness
Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)
By with 0 comments
How to deal with negative people in your life

How to deal with negative people in your life

How to deal with negative people in your life?

Let go and look inward.  You are just another living thing in the universe.  You are not attached to anything or anyone.  Let go.  You answer to your heart’s desires.  No matter how much or little you think you have, in the end it doesn’t matter.  What matters is that you loved with your heart.  You must love yourself first.  See yourself as a ball of white energy that needs to grow by attracting positive energy.  You do this by listening to your heart and bringing joy to all that you connect with.  Through your gestures, smile and positive energy, you make connections in life.  You grow stronger.  Your heart grows happier.  You thrive.

None of this requires material gain or power over others.  You see there are just two choices.  You can choose to be positive or negative in any given moment.  Right now, you can decide to feel positive with the very next breath you take.  Feel the air slowly travelling through you and filling your lungs.  Feel the effortless transfer of air to energy within you.  Feel it sustaining you and keeping you alive.  Now realize that you don’t exist without that breath.  It is your primary source of life.

The next time you walk gaze at the sky for a moment and feel its positive energy.  Notice the fresh new leaves that have transformed our cities.  Each leaf lives, breathes and soaks up the sun’s energy.  As you walk along quietly think something positive about the next passerby.  As you replace positive thinking in your mind you displace anything negative.  This practice alone has powerful and remarkable results.  You create instant happiness, more importantly you build up positive energy that will get you through the next crisis.

Grappling with negative energy takes practice.  There are miserable people that thrive on dumping their negative energy on you.  I don’t understand them but I accept that they exist.  They need you to listen to their misery.  They need you to identify them as victims.  They need you to justify their state of negativity.  They need you to suffer with them.  They are everywhere and you need to know who they are in your life.  That’s the first step.  The second step requires you to make changes in your life to ultimately eliminate them.  You need positive energy to remove negative energy in order to grow stronger.

Find a way to rid yourself of an abusive spouse.  Find a way to distance yourself from a manipulative parent.  Find a way to limit yourself from a gossiping sibling.  Find a way to leave an unfair boss.  By storing positive energy you will build up the strength to find these ways.  You will need strength.  Start building it in your daily routines.  By simply noticing your breath or meditating for a few minutes you can begin storing positive energy.  Gradually, as you move away from sources of negativity, you will replace it with sources of positivity.

There are countless possibilities and opportunities.  The potential to grow is limitless.  Take a breath and start making a change in your life now.

Thank you to Sehota Magic for “How to deal with negative people in your life.”

Fire the toxic people from you life. They are blood sucking vampires who are robbing you of your vitality, energy and happiness. If you cannot avoid the exposure to such people, reduce your interaction as much as possible.

Good luck. This is an open dialogue, please feel free to contribute.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)
By with 0 comments
How To Understand My Parents

How To Understand My Parents

How To Understand My Parents?

As our parents have great expectations, hopes and aspirations for us. Although we don’t realize, but we have as many expectations of them as well to act in a model way, be people of integrity and superheros to love us unconditionally no matter what.

The truth is that our parents are as fallible as anyone. They make mistakes, they have weak moments and they have personal needs.

Our parents are humans as any one and product of the following:

  • conditioning
  • upbringing
  • beliefs
  • culture
  • religion
  • environment
  • influence
  • circumstances
  • experiences
  • times
  • country
  • education
  • class

We must realize that they are being the best that they can be unless you were an unwanted child who just showed up unexpectedly. As harsh as it might be to admit, but at times children are neither wanted nor loved or appreciated.

As we must put up with other people’s idiosyncrasies like our friends, spouses, siblings and bosses.

Why are we so quick not to put up with our parents quirks?

It is true that in their own mind they try to control us, manipulate us, emotionally black mail us and coerce us for our own good whatever they think it might be.

As hard as it might be having our parents in our space, we must give them love, compassion and acceptance that they once bestowed upon us. They made sacrifices for us to take care of us may it be time, lack of sleep, making money and getting us to and from school or activities.

Here is a great clip about how to understand my parents and our relationship:

How To Understand My Parents is an open dialogue, please feel free to contribute below.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)
By with 0 comments
Not Speaking With Relatives

Not Speaking With Relatives

What is this non-sense about not speaking with relatives?

In South Asian families, if one person has a conflict, a fight or a disagreement with a relative, they expect everyone else to speak with that person.

What happened to our humanity, forgiveness, patience, forbearance and acceptance of our fellow human beings?

South Asian relatives can be all these:

  • Malicious
  • Vicious
  • Judgmental
  • Back biters
  • Back stabbers
  • Cunnivers
  • Poor manners

A Great Video About Accepting People At Different Levels

Still they are human beings.

As someone said that you can choose your friends, but not your relatives.

Hence, I would suggest this Mother Theresa’s poem.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

 If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

 If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

 The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

 Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

 In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

 -this version is credited to Mother Teresa

There is another poem

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling
You can choose not to reduce yourself at anyone else’s level. Keep your inner sanctuary by choosing the higher self, taking the higher ground and aspiring to be a better human being.
As much as it is very difficult, give them love, patience, forbearance and acceptance even though it is very difficult to do.
The last resort is that you set boundaries, put distance between them and make it clear that you will not put up with such non-sense.
Nobody can get under your skin unless you let them.
Be the sun in this story
Someone went to Sun and told it that their is darkness on the earth.
Sun came down on earth and looked for darkness everywhere.
I don’t see any darkness, what are you talking about and went back.
So be the Sun in other lives where you are the light and darkness does not exist just because of YOU.
Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)
By with 0 comments
Dealing with your Relatives

Dealing with your Relatives

Choose the right medium of communication

According to our surveys, you have identified the need for help with dealing with your relative.

These are examples of Messages From Childhood: They may have controlled your thinking, emotions and behaviors all your life. Cognitive Therapy can help you change these Rules, Beliefs, Strategies, Assumptions and Habits to more productive and adaptive ones:

In order to be happy, I have to be successful in whatever I undertake.
My value as a person depends on what others think of me.
If someone disagrees with me, it means they don’t like me.
I can’t live without a man (woman).
If I make a mistake, it means that I am inept.
To be happy, I must be accepted by all people at all times.
If you want people to like you, you should always be nice to them. Never confront them.
One must have full control over life at all times.
It is safer to keep people at a distance.
If they really get to know me, they won’t like me.
Others can make mistakes and violate the standards but I can’t.
Security is of utmost importance.
It is better to stay with the security of the known even if it is full of negatives.
Because I feel I am worthless, others must think I am worthless also.
Trusting others is dangerous.
I should not burden others with my troubles.
If I do not do my best all the time and achieve success, others will not like me and I will be unloved and worthless.
If there is a chance that something dangerous or fearsome might happen, one should worry about it.
One needs someone stronger than oneself to rely on.
My past is an all-important determinant of my present behavior and if something once strongly affected me, it will always affect me.
There is a right, precise, and perfect solution to problems and I should be able to find it.
If I sacrifice for others and always put them first, they will love me. 

Source: http://cognitivetherapymd.com/9543.html

Here are some videos about dealing with your relatives.

Verbal Self-defence

Learn how to defend yourself verbally in different situations?

 

Read a great article about dealing with relatives

 

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

– by Rudyard Kipling

Please feel free to contribute to dealing with your relatives.

We are accepting, compiling and creating blogs, vidoes and programming for all categories.

Please submit below or contact us through info@SAWNTV.COM.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)
By with 0 comments