Domestic Violence in South Asian families in the developed world

This may come to you as a shock, but shelters are filled with South Asian women in Europe and North America due to domestic violence.

In Toronto, Ontario Canada 6,500 cases of domestic violence were reported by South Asian women up 30% from the previous year. Toronto police is holding an event to bring awareness.

However, the same rules apply as to staying silent when it comes to domestic violence in South Asian families.

Many women still don’t break the silence due to the after math consequences.

Never ever give up

Do you look for your power outside of you?

Life is a beautiful thing, as long as “I” hold the string. Quote from Frank Sinatra Song “I’ve got the world on a string”.

Power is one of the most important concepts in your personal development.

Who has power over your life?

Do you say that other people, your circumstances or your environment has power over you?

Grant no man the authority to make you a slave.

Looking for attention, approval, confidence, assurance or endorsement, you cannot make someone else guardian of your life.

Unfortunately, most people will think more about what they are going to have for lunch than your problems, life or betterment.

Make your own decisions, so take full responsibility of the consequences, you can learn from them and grow from them.

Who is holding the strings of your life?

Teach others how you wanted to be treated

Remember: We teach others how to treat us, so be very careful at the beginning of a relationship to establish boundaries.
Do something, anything
Seek help
Take action

Learn to set boundaries

Inform the perpetrator that behavior is not acceptable
Give them little bit time, if they don’t stop
Warn them this time with a consequence
If the behavior persists, carry the consequence through


Break the cycle
Recognize what is happening
Realize you don’t have to put up with it
Decide not to let the person get to you any more
Not giving permission to keep doing this
Take measures to interrupt or stop the game
Stop serving the serve
David D. Posen

Protect your children

All the ways, people will try to take away your power:

Guilt, manipulation, withholding necessities or privileges, black mailing, force,
Ways to deal with controllers, abusers and problem people:

Avoid the opportunity

Peaceful non-involvement, non-cooperation,

Don’t play their game

Keep yourself out

Practice the words “NO,” “ENOUGH,” or”PERMISSION”

Build your own power instead of borrowing it
Your own self-esteem, money and support

Gandhi: I am asking you to fight! To fight against their anger, not to provoke it. We will not strike a blow, but we will receive them. And through our pain we will make them see their injustice, and it will hurt — as all fighting hurts. But we cannot lose. We cannot. They may torture my body, break my bones, even kill me. Then, they will have my dead body — not my obedience.



If you are in trouble, there is always help available, call 911.
Tell someone elder or a family member that you trust.

Abuse, power struggles or control is not limited to women only.

As per, abusive behaviors are:

looming over the person, getting in their face, blocking a doorway, grabbing someone, following the person around, slapping, pulling hair, pushing, punching, beating, kicking, strangling, threatening with harm, using weapons, throwing things, breaking things, driving recklessly
rape, unwanted sexual touch, vulgar comments, getting a person pregnant against her will, pressuring a person to have sex, spreading sexual rumors, calling a person sexual names
Emotional or mental
mind games, manipulation, always being “right”, making accusations, controlling what a person does and who she sees and talks to, telling her how to dress, making all the decisions, blaming the other person for your faults
name calling, criticizing, publicly humiliating, put downs, yelling, swearing, sarcasm, silent treatment, threatening with harm
Abuse is about Power and Control

So build empowering illusions that serve you.

Nothing external to you has power over you.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

You are not alone….and it is not your fault. You can find out more information about how to deal with abuse by clicking here.

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