How to stop abuse in South Asian Families

Abuse happens in all countries, cultures and religions including South Asian families.

By no means all families suffer by this curse.

This dialogue is concerning incest involving children (sexual abused by their relatives including touching). As per wikipedia, Incest is sexual intercourse between close relatives[1][2] that is usually illegal in the jurisdiction where it takes place and/or is conventionally considered a taboo. The term may apply to sexual activities between: individuals of close “blood relationship”; members of the same householdstep relatives related by adoption or marriage; and members of the same clan or lineage.[3] See also Laws regarding incest.

How to stop abuse in South Asian Families

The problem with South Asian families is that they don’t talk about,

do something or stop the abuse knowing very well that it is taking place in the family.

What is unique about incest in South Asian families?

      • Because of our high pride, family privacy and fear of shame, it is never spoken about.
      • The obsession with piousness and virginity stops girls from coming forward.
      • Victims are the ones blamed for the abuse that it must have been your fault
      • Victims get labelled for rest of their lives.
      • Fears of who is going to marry a girl who has been abused?
      • Sex being a tabu subject.
      • Not being comfortable with our bodies.
      • Having such high virtues where there is no place for passion.
      • Children seen, but not heard.
      • Shut up, put up mentality

How to stop abuse in South Asian Families

If adults don’t put a stop to this, the abuse continues through generations.

Children live in constant fear and isolation.

When they try to get help from their parents, they are told to shut up, it was your fault or I will kill you, if you said something.

Who is going to put a stop to it then?

Not speaking about it does not make it go away.

Dangers of not speaking about the problem are as follows:

  • The cycle of abuse continues
  • In most cases, the offender is an uncle, cousin or a close relative and continues the abuse without any repercussions
  • Victims never get help
  • The girls or boys are affected for the rest of their lives
  • People come to accept it as a part of their lives

How to top incest in South Asian families?

Do away with your false pride and have the courage to stand up, stop the abuser and punish them.

Under any circumstances, it is not acceptable that a family member touches another with malicious intent.

How to stop abuse in South Asian Families
Here are some things you can do to protect your children:

  • Opportunity is the first reason why an abuser takes advantage, so eliminate them
  • Communicate to your children regularly to find out what is going on in their lives as a friend
  • Ensure that they know that nobody is suppose to touch them in an inappropriate way and what is that
  • Don’t leave your children alone with someone you don’t trust
  • Install babysitter cameras in plush toys
  • Avoid sending your children to hostels for education
  • If you find out a family member abusing someone, report them immediately
  • Take an active role in protecting all children because your child could be next
  • Have the courage to stand up to disdain of others to protect children and adultescents
  • Get children help, if the abuse has taken place
  • Support children coming forward with that information

You cannot change others, but things can change with yourself and your family.

How to stop abuse in South Asian families?

What to do if you are in an abusive situation?

What to do if you are a parent?

What to do if you know a relative is abusing someone?

You are not alone….and it is not your fault. You can find out more information about how to deal with abuse by clicking here. 
How to stop abuse in South Asian Families is an open dialogue and we encourage your feed back.

Another great source by United Nations Effective Police Responses to Violence Against Women

Have the courage to call the person out.

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