Lessons I Can Learn From Death

Lessons I Can Learn From Death is all the benefits that you can reap out of death.

Here is a short but moving story about death.

Kisa Gautami was a young woman from a wealthy family who was happily married to an important merchant. When her only son was one-year-old, he fell ill and died suddenly. Kisa Gautami was struck with grief, she could not bare the death of her only child. Weeping and groaning, she took her dead baby in her arms and went from house to house begging all the people in the town for news of a way to bring her son back to life.

Of course, nobody could help her but Kisa Gautami would not give up. Finally she came across a Buddhist who advised her to go and see the Buddha himself.

When she carried the dead child to the Buddha and told Him her sad story, He listened with patience and compassion, and then said to her, “Kisa Gautami, there is only one way to solve your problem. Go and find me four or five mustard seeds from any family in which there has never been a death.”

Kisa Gautami was filled with hope, and set off straight away to find such a household. But very soon she discovered that every family she visited had experienced the death of one person or another. At last, she understood what the Buddha had wanted her to find out for herself — that suffering is a part of life, and death comes to us all. Once Kisa Guatami accepted the fact that death is inevitable, she could stop her grieving. She took the child’s body away and later returned to the Buddha to become one of His followers.

Almost year and half ago, my fiance Mandeep and I went to my girlfriend’s house to party. She has just moved to Keswick, ON in front of Simcoe lack. There were beautiful tall trees and chimes ringing with a light breeze off the lake.

On the way over, Mandeep was very happy driving 140KM on the highway. I told him to slow down, but he was in a particular joly mood, so I let him be. As soon as we got out of the car, I gave my both friends a hug. I gave my Mandeep a hug too saying”come here I have not seen you in a long time.”

I walked into my girlfriends place to see her new diggs. Within 5 minutes Mandeep called me on my cell from outside that he is having an asthma attach. I ran outside to get him a puffer and he fell on the floor. I was holding his hands and he died in front of me. It was so unexpected and sudden that I did not believe it. As the ambulance came, they picked him up on strcher and took him. As they were trying to revive him, I was holding his sandles in my hand that he will wake up and I will give him the sandles to wear.

As the ambulance left, I picked up his bag and his shoes in my hands to take to the hospital expecting him to return.

The detectives asked me questions and I was in such a jolly mood that I told them everything giggling. Still in denial, holding the bag and sandals in my hand. One detective asked me to sit down and told me that Mandeep had passed away. I still did not believe him and took Mandeep’s belonging with me to the hospital. I kept saying no he will wake up. Try to revive him because he told me that this had happened to him before.

At the hospital, he was laying there cold, limbs hard and lifeless. I tried warming up his hands. Told him to wake up, but he won’t. Asked him to come back, but he won’t. I was forced to leave the room.

For next three days, I did not eat or move from one place. There was non-stop crying. Then came the ceremonies at the Gurdwara followed by his cremation. We took his ashes and put them in the river.

For months, I drove around seeing the world as ashes. I gave up my work, my apartment and many belongings and went travelling for eight months.

The strangest things kept happening, like myself seeing doves everywhere. Wall paintings dropping etc.

The only thing that he left behind were memories of how nice he was, how he treated everyone and the difference he made in this world.

Having long hair, I kept loosing these little clips. After his death, I opened a drawer and there were packs of hair pins. I had no idea when he bought them.

Apparently, it turns out that this is a genetic disease that is predominant in Indian Punjabi young man who come from Punjab, India.

There were four other deaths of three people whom I knew personally.

This entire experience taught me many things:

  • We don’t have tomorrow, whatever difference we want to make, we must do it now and today.
  • It is only your deeds, how you treated others and how you made a difference that you would leave behind
  • As it is said that as in game of chess or in the game of life king and pawn go back in the same box.
  • We won’t take anything with us, belongings, fame or even relationships
  • Make amends now
  • However, there is so much that is facade and we must look beyond it. The course in miracles will argue that this life is a dream.
  • Be gentle, compassionate, caring and giving
  • If you don’t have anything nice to say or do, don’t say or do anything
  • Forgive people
  • Practice patience, humility and forgiveness on ongoing bases
  • Don’t wait for tomorrow what you must do today
  • Enjoy life and be grateful for every little kindness, smile and consideration in your life
  • You, other people and conditions will never be right, so start living now in the now, in this present moment fully and vibrantly

I just came back from a coffee with a friend who has lost 4 people in the last year amongst his business and financial troubles. He came to make amends and apologize, if he has ever hurt my feelings. It is amazing how life brings us on our knees and we become so humble.

It is alright for us to be imperfect humans with flaws, to be infallible, show our vulnerability and above all be true to ourselves and others. If you don’t live your own life fully, whose life are you living the end of the day?

I love every moment of my life, live it fully, enjoy it and make a difference authentically.

What is death to me? Peaceful, white light and silence.

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