Not Speaking With Relatives

What is this non-sense about not speaking with relatives?

In South Asian families, if one person has a conflict, a fight or a disagreement with a relative, they expect everyone else to speak with that person.

What happened to our humanity, forgiveness, patience, forbearance and acceptance of our fellow human beings?

South Asian relatives can be all these:

  • Malicious
  • Vicious
  • Judgmental
  • Back biters
  • Back stabbers
  • Cunnivers
  • Poor manners

A Great Video About Accepting People At Different Levels

Still they are human beings.

As someone said that you can choose your friends, but not your relatives.

Hence, I would suggest this Mother Theresa’s poem.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

 If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

 If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

 The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

 Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

 In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

 -this version is credited to Mother Teresa

There is another poem


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling
You can choose not to reduce yourself at anyone else’s level. Keep your inner sanctuary by choosing the higher self, taking the higher ground and aspiring to be a better human being.
As much as it is very difficult, give them love, patience, forbearance and acceptance even though it is very difficult to do.
The last resort is that you set boundaries, put distance between them and make it clear that you will not put up with such non-sense.
Nobody can get under your skin unless you let them.
Be the sun in this story
Someone went to Sun and told it that their is darkness on the earth.
Sun came down on earth and looked for darkness everywhere.
I don’t see any darkness, what are you talking about and went back.
So be the Sun in other lives where you are the light and darkness does not exist just because of YOU.

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