Velvet glove iron fist

Have you met someone really sweet, yet very powerful?

Velvet glove iron fist means that you are really easy going and pleasant, yet firm inside.

“Important principles may, and must, be inflexible.” -Abraham Lincoln

Either they infected you negatively or affected you positivly?

Or it hurt so much being with them, but you did not see the punch?

In South Asian community, we tend to blurt out things without consideration for the other person or do not share our genuine response to a person.

Here are some techniques that may assist you in being polite, courteous and considerate.

Velvet glove iron fist

Especially for South Asian women, it is very easy to be sweet and polite. No matter what the situation always be nice, yet firm.

Once people get to know that you are person of substance, they will come to respect you without knowing what happened.

Keep your word and deliver on your promises to build trust and confidence.

Have that iron will, resolve, conviction and determination that keeps you on course with whatever it is that you are trying to assert without being wobbly.

A friend just told me a story about a woman who was being abused and kept kicking her husband out of the house. She set some rules in place, but kept giving in without her conditions being met. The cycle continued because it became a game between them that she does not really mean what she says. She taught her husband that she will not go through with her ultimatums and he continues to take advantage of this situation.

Sandwich technique

Say something positive about the person, a quality, trait or characteristic.

Give them the positive constructive critique.

Finish with something how it would be beneficial resulting in an advantage for a person. Ending with positive comment.

As you must have heard that feedback is the breakfast of champions, so we want to give a genuine critique without hurting the person’s feelings.

How to stand your ground and teach people to take you

“I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death.” –Leonardo da Vinci

Velvet glove iron fist is an open dialogue, please contribute your stories and suggestions.

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